


Purgatorio

by Spnsami331



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel/Dean Winchester in Purgatory, Destiel - Freeform, Kissing, Leviathans, M/M, Protective Benny Lafitte, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Purgatory, Sick Dean Winchester, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:01:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28598121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spnsami331/pseuds/Spnsami331
Summary: Benny does some soul searching after meeting Dean and Castiel in Purgatory.
Relationships: Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	Purgatorio

**Author's Note:**

> My grandma passed away today. I posted this today to try to lift my spirits. If you like it, please leave a kind word or a kudos. If you don't, please don't comment. I cannot handle negativity right now.
> 
> I dedicate this story to Rocky, my best friend. I love you and I want to show you that I'm trying to be more respectful and patient and understanding, just like Benny in this story. Thank you for always being there for me and for forgiving me. I'm always gonna ship Destiel though.

"Cass!" Dean cries out.

At first, the sight of him is a most welcome blessing. For months, Benny has been helping Dean search these dark, foreboding woods in the hopes of locating his friend, the angel Castiel. They've interrogated and killed numerous beasts, some of them Benny's former allies, all in the name of this one angel. In that respect, it's rewarding to have found him at last.

On the outside, there isn't anything too impressive about him. He is filthy and small. His face is so covered with muck that it is difficult to identify his skin color. Black grime stains what was once a tan trench coat. Beneath the jacket, he seems to be wearing hospital pajamas and an ID bracelet… like he was sick on earth. Who has ever even heard of an angel getting sick?

But Benny can see his true form. Castiel is magnificent. He is huge, powerful and strong. His eyes are a bright, pure blue, as if made from the heavens themselves. Benny can't help but feel a twinge of gratitude that Dean is incapable of beholding the real Castiel.

Not that it matters all that much, Benny soon realizes. Dean is glowing as he pulls Castiel into a bear hug. The angel does not embrace him back, but Dean is too relieved and happy to notice.

With that damn joyful smile on his handsome face, Dean strokes Castiel's cheeks and chin and compliments him on his dirty beard. Benny feels as if he has just been punched in the stomach. In all their time together, Dean has never looked at him like that, as if he were the most precious treasure to ever exist. Dean has never touched him with such tenderness. 

Benny dislikes Castiel.

Because Benny knows that he cannot compete with him.

It shouldn't have happened in the first place. The human was only meant to be his ticket out of Purgatory, nothing more. Benny Lafitte was not supposed to fall for Dean Winchester.

Benny's feelings for Dean had sneaked up on him out of nowhere. In both of his lives, Benny had only ever been with women. He'd been married and had children before his maker turned him. 

But Purgatory was a lonesome place. He'd had very few friends over the years there, and no lovers at all. He'd never been able to trust any one in Monster Heaven enough to cross that line. 

Then, he met the human. Benny chopped the head off of another vampire that was about to sink its teeth into his free ride out. That moment would change Benny in ways he could never have even fathomed.

Dean Winchester was the most attractive thing Benny had ever seen: male or female, human or vampire. Those damn green Bambi eyes could drive any one wild. His lips and cheeks were pink and plump and full of life. It was such a welcome change from the undead monsters Benny hung around day in and day out for all these years. 

It was the way Dean carried himself that drew Benny in, though. They were so alike in so many ways. They were both strong, tough and quick witted. When they fought together, they moved as one. Neither of them had a back. Neither of them had a vulnerable place. The other was right there to keep him safe. Benny had never known that sort of unity with any one. 

Even then, Benny hadn't imagined himself liking Dean that way. It caught him off guard one day as they were hunting for someone, any one, who knew the whereabouts of the angel. Months of malnutrition and lack of medicine had begun to take its toll on Dean's mortal body. He'd developed a high fever and a wicked case of the chills. Despite Dean's stubborn refusal to quit, Benny insisted that they rest a while. Benny found a small cave near a lake that they could use for shelter. After he inspected it for any signs of danger, they took respite inside its cool walls.

Dean lied down on the floor of the cave and tried to sleep. But he could not stop shaking. His head was aching, and sweat was soaking his face and back. 

As he watched the fever assault Dean, Benny worried that his friend would die. He felt so powerless. What could he do? Was there anything in Monster Heaven that could save a human, he wondered? 

Benny considered turning Dean. He'd never turned a human before. But he'd seen his Maker change people. It wasn't difficult. That way, at least Dean would not die. 

But Benny could not do it. Becoming a vampire was not something he would have chosen for himself. He would not impose this life on Dean. Dean would've hated being one of the freaks he hunted. Not to mention, their escape hatch would not open if Dean was no longer human.

But their escape hatch wouldn't open if Dean was dead, either. 

So Benny draped his coat over Dean and tip toed out of the cave. There just had to be something in these forests that could help his friend. For both of their sakes, he had to at least try. 

As he was hiking, and taking out a few baddies along the way, some special plants caught Benny's eye. Benny recalled the garden his wife used to grow in their house back in the bayou. When his kids caught colds and flus, his wife would brew teas to help them sleep better. She would use mint, lavender, and camomile. But for fevers, she would serve them tea made from a special pointy green plant.

Catnip.

It was best for kids. His wife never gave it to him when he was sick. But it wasn't like Benny could run to the local Piggly Wiggly. This would just have to work. 

Benny built a small fire, hoping beyond all hope that only a few monsters would see the flames in the time it took to boil the water. It was just a bit of water. Dean had a flask in his pocket when he'd been zapped into Purgatory. They'd long since drank the booze, and Dean had been using it to keep hydrated since then. Once the water was hot, Benny tore up the catnip and placed it into the flask. 

Benny coaxed the tea into Dean. It was a fight. What didn't this guy make difficult? It seemed to him like humans were always getting in their own way. But Dean was a harder case than most.

Against his own will, Dean finished the tea. He tried to rest again, but he was just too cold. Even with the tea in his belly, he could not stop shaking. The sun had slipped below the horizon, and darkness was close at hand. 

It hit Benny then. Dean would not survive the night. The realization was a blade to the vampire's throat.

So, Benny lied down beside Dean and scooped him into his arms. Benny had thought that this was only going to soothe Dean. But nothing had ever been so comforting to Benny as the feeling of Dean's heart beating against his chest. It had never occurred to Benny that he would miss intimacy so much. He hadn't missed physical contact so much until he hugged Dean. But now that he had, he could not fathom not having that connection anymore. 

Two nights later, Dean started showing some signs of improvement. He was able to stay awake for a few hours at a time. Although they couldn't tell his temperature with any accuracy, there were times when he didn't radiate heat like a gas stove. 

But he was still shivering like crazy, even with Benny's coat covering him. Benny had never tried to hold Dean when he was conscious. He was not sure how the hunter would react. Hugging a vampire wasn't the safest pastime in the world, and Dean didn't seem like the most touchy-feely person as it was. But he couldn't stand watching his friend suffer.

So Benny embraced Dean, and Dean allowed him to do so. Even though Benny was cold blooded (so to speak), Dean's body quickly stopped shaking. Benny could feel his human heart rate speed up; he could smell the adrenaline spilling out of him. And something else too… 

Dopamine.

The attraction hormone.

Benny had been alive long enough to read more books and articles than any professor in any university. He'd had a particular interest in psychology. Understanding the human mind helped him hunt for food. It made it easier for him to lure in his prey. Somehow he was able to recall that humans release dopamine when they are attracted to somebody. 

Dean was attracted to him.

Benny could not believe it. He'd liked Dean from the moment they met. But he never thought anything would come of it, apart from escaping Purgatory together. He never thought someone as incredible and strong as Dean would ever show interest in him in that way. 

Benny considered whether or not he could reciprocate those feelings. He'd never been into a man before. It was new and curious. 

Then, Dean Winchester gazed up at him with those eyes. Those damn green eyes were gorgeous and sad and fierce and soft all at once. They were glossy from the fever, and they seemed to be seeking reassurance of some kind. But they were powerful and lovely all the same. 

Benny was attracted to Dean, too.

Mustering up more courage than he'd needed since his second death, Benny leaned his head closer to Dean. Dean's heart raced with nervous excitement. Even better than that, Dean did not pull away in disgust, and that was more than Benny could have asked for.

Dean's lips were soft and warm and tasted of catnip tea. The kiss was intoxicating. Benny felt unsteady and giddy as he paused to look at his partner. Despite the illness, Dean was glowing. Benny could not believe that God would create something as divine as Dean Winchester for a beast like him. It was too good to be true. 

Except that it was true. Dean liked Benny. Dean placed his frail hands on Benny's cheeks. His smile was so full of joy, which in Purgatory was a joy in and of itself. Dean tried to bring Benny closer to him, but he was still too weak. So Benny obliged him, bending towards the hunter. 

Their kisses grew more passionate, longer and more desperate. Benny didn't have to breathe and hated to stop even for a second. But he allowed Dean a few seconds to catch his unsteady breaths before kissing him again. Benny could feel the life returning to him as he and Dean made out. In Dean's arms, Benny could almost forget that he was a monster, unworthy of love and lust.

In an even more unbelievable twist of fate, Dean started to unbutton his filthy flannel shirt. Benny pressed his lips to the hunter's cheek, then kissed below his ear and on his neck. It was all too good to be true. In their excitement, neither of them had considered the risks of what they were doing. 

Benny caught a whiff of Dean's blood as it pulsed within the major artery in his neck. His mouth salivated. His nostrils twitched. It had been years since he'd tasted human blood, and the thirst burned like a case of strep throat that no antibiotic could ever cure. Every one of Benny's natural instincts told him to attack. Dean smelled delicious, like his blood was made of bacon cheeseburgers. 

But those green eyes trapped him yet again. Dean stared up at him expectantly with those doe eyes of his. He looked so human and so fragile, and yet, so hopeful, as he awaited Benny's response. 

No. He was not a monster. He would never be a vampirate ever again; he'd promised himself that long ago. Benny would not hurt Dean. He willed his fangs back up into his gums. He focused on not taking in deep breaths so that he would not inhale Dean's scent. He would not harm the creature he'd been trying to save for all this time. 

Benny kissed Dean's mouth again, and Dean returned the gesture. It was more difficult now Benny was more aware of the danger he was putting his friend in. But he had to be careful. Besides the bloodlust, Benny had to remind himself that he was much stronger than Dean and could not squeeze him too hard. 

The latter proved much more difficult than Benny could have imagined the longer he and Dean kissed. His body yearned for Dean's. But he was too afraid to take it any further than kissing. Dean was still sick, and he tired out a short while later. On top of that, Benny could not get over his fear of breaking or biting Dean.

But there was something else, too.

Benny couldn't be sure. But he had a strange feeling when Dean gazed at him. A sad expression would flash across the hunter's face every so often. Benny couldn't help sensing that Dean was seeing somebody else when he looked in Benny's eyes. Maybe. Maybe not. Perhaps Benny was being too sensitive. Perhaps his time in Purgatory had jaded him, and this was all happening too fast. He didn't know.

It was fortunate that Dean yawned and grew too tired to continue with their tryst. His fever spiked again, and Benny needed to search for more catnip in the morning. So the hunter snuggled against the Vampire and fell into a fitful sleep. 

It took several days of force feeding Dean catnip tea and any scrap of food he could find. But at last Benny nursed Dean back to health. Even though he was happy to have his friend back on his feet, Benny couldn't help feeling a little sad. He would miss the warmth of human flesh against his icy skin something terrible. He was sure that what had transpired between them would be a one time thing. Nothing more would come of it.

Their days were consumed with searching for Castiel. Every monster they came across, they caught and interrogated. Nobody ever seemed able to help. But Dean was hell bent on finding the angel, and Benny was always eager to lend a hand if it meant them getting the hell out of Purgatory. 

But the nights were a different story. Dean had recovered from his illness, but he was still human. Once the sun went down, an awful cold swept over their woods. When they could, they tried to set up shelter. But it was not always possible, what with their consent moving around. More often than not, they would have to rest in groves of trees, exposed to both monsters and the elements. 

Dean relied on Benny for warmth and protection as he slept. Every night, they would whisper to each other before Dean went to bed. They discussed their families and their plans for when they got out. They talked about sports and music and cars.

Sometimes, they would go further. Dean's strength had returned, so the idea of being intimate with him frightened Benny a little less. But Benny still had to be so careful. The last thing he wanted to do was drink his friend. Not even for a second did Benny want to be undeserving of the second chance at life that Dean was giving him.

Benny enjoyed those passionate nights with Dean, but he found himself feeling like he was a teenager on his first date. While they came pretty darn close, they never quite made love. Maybe it was because they'd neither of them had ever done anything like this before. Dean reminded Benny of a virgin who wanted to go all the way but was afraid of disappointing God or his parents. 

No. That wasn't it.

Dean was acting like someone trying to get over the person he loved and just couldn't.

For that reason, Benny decided it was best that they didn't take that big step. It would have hurt them both in the end. Well, it still hurt, because Benny liked Dean so much more than he could even wrap his mind around. But he knew it would have crushed him to face that ultimate rejection when Dean was reunited with the person he loved.

The moment Benny feared has come. Dean has reconciled with his true love, the angel Castiel. Although Benny has expected this all along, it's still a punch in the gut for him. An irrational rage washes over him as his human dotes on the angel. Dean does not even realize how fidgety and uncomfortable Castiel is with him there. Hell, he didn't even hug him back! 

Finally, Benny can no longer stand Dean's obliviousness to Castiel's avoid-dance. "'Why did you bail out on Dean? Way I hear it he got surrounded and you took off.'" Benny demands with hostility. "'I think he owes you some sort of explanation.'"

Dean comes up with some nonsense defense of his angel, rationalizing, "'We were surrounded. One of the monsters probably got the jump on Cass, and he got his was kicked, right?'"

"'No,'" the angel whispers, ashamed.

Heartbreak sets in on Dean, and his face falls. '"No?'" The angel cannot even meet his eyes. "'I prayed to you, Cass, every night!'"

'"I know,'" Castiel admits.

'"You know, and you didn't…'" 

Dean gets too upset to even finish his statement. Benny can feel his fangs scratching against his gums. Of course he knows he cannot harm an angel. He'll be zapped into oblivion before he comes within a foot of the seraph. 

But Benny is just so angry. This ragged mess of a fallen angel is who Dean chooses to love. Castiel does not deserve Dean. Dean spent months searching for Castiel, almost losing his own life in the process. Castiel abandoned Dean in one of the most dangerous places in all of God's creation. Castiel does not deserve Dean.

"'I am an angel in a land of abominations. There have been things hunting me since day one!'" Castiel affirms.

'"Join the club,'" Dean retorts.

'"These aren't just monsters, Dean. They're Leviathans. I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them to keep them away from you,"' Castiel tells him, his voice and eyes so heavy with sincerity that even Benny believes him. 

Dean's face softens as he and Castiel gaze at each other. It is as if they are the only two people in Purgatory. Benny is too captivated by their bond to feel like the third wheel he has become. He's never seen anything like what these two have. A look crosses Dean's face. Amazement. Dean is in complete awe of Castiel, in awe of the depths of the angel's devotion to him. Dean studies the angel as if he is too good to be true, as if he is does not know how he got so lucky to have Castiel in his life.

In return, Castiel stares at Dean as if Dean is a gift from God Himself. Castiel looks at Dean as if Dean is the most precious thing to ever exist. Benny can see the fierce protection in Castiel's eyes. Even having just met him, he can sense that the angel would leap in front of a leviathan to keep Dean safe.

Then, Benny realizes that he has seen this before, that he knows exactly what they have going on between them.

Dean and Castiel are in love.

Benny sees it with such clarity. He might even understand it better than they do. He's had the good fortune of being both a natural and a supernatural creature. 

That means he can relate to both men. Sure. But Benny gets Castiel more. Just like Benny, Castiel is afraid of hurting Dean. Just like Benny, Castiel has to figure out human emotions, how to read them and what to do with them. This is difficult in and of itself. Catching feelings for a man as complex as Dean does not simplify it any, either. 

As for Dean, well, Benny has been aware of Dean's feelings all along. This is why they never slept together. This is why they trekked all over Purgatory. This is why Dean almost died. It's because Dean loves this messy little angel, and, since he can't verbalize it, this is how he shows it. 

Dean loves Castiel.

To mask his true mood, Benny pastes on a brave face. On the inside, though, he's confused, and sadness and disappointment eat away at him. He wishes that he'd never kissed Dean Winchester. He wishes that Dean would have rejected him then, before he fell too hard. The idea of being a rebound for someone as special as Dean burns something awful. 

Rebounds can be fun. It's casual. There's no drama, no strings attached. Benny has nothing against rebounds, when he is prepared for it.

His relationship with Dean was not supposed to be a fling, though. Well,it wasn't meant to be a relationship at all. But that ship sailed. And once they did hook up, it should not have been so fleeting.

Not after all that they went through together. 

Their time together matters so much to Benny. How can it be that it doesn't mean as much to Dean? Now Benny isn't sure that's even a fair assessment. Dean has not done anything to make Benny feel unimportant. Dean hasn't done anything at all, to be honest.

It's just the way they look at each other...

"We're getting out of here, Cass."

Outside of Benny's rambling mind and back in reality, Dean is informing Castiel of their plan to bust out of Purgatory. Good. Benny needs a distraction. The plot is perfect. For the rest of the time he's trapped in Purgatory, he can focus on the escape. Then, once they get topside, he can meet someone. In time, he'll come to forget all about Dean Winchester.

He hopes.

"...Benny, tell him." He hears Dean request.

"'Purgatory has an escape hatch, but I have no idea if it will work for you," Benny responds, indicating the angel.

Dean and Castiel go back and forth about it for a while. It's Dean's insistence that keeps the conversation going. To Benny, it is clear that Castiel does not want to put Dean at risk by tagging along. He's saying it outright, but Dean just will not have it. 

At last, Dean snaps, "'Cass, we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle even if it kills all three of us.'"

Dean and Castiel get all goo-goo eyed again. Maybe Castiel whispers his name with such softness that only a being like Benny can hear it. It doesn't make a difference. They are so lost in each other that they couldn't find their way back with a map and directions. 

The worst part of it is, Dean means what he just said. He is not the type to renig on a promise. It's not in Dean to let down someone he cares about, especially not Castiel. The intensity of the love in Dean's eyes for that angel has Benny convinced that Dean will sacrifice everything for Castiel.

Benny would do anything for Dean, but he's sure as hell not going to die for the angel.

"'Obviously I'm less than comfortable with that,"' Benny remarks, not that it will change anything.

With reluctance, Castiel agrees to join them, and they embark on their journey home. Just as the supernatural creatures have warned, Castiel draws the monsters right to them. His power and energy glow like a beacon in the fog. The one saving grace is that he can thwart the attackers with a simple touch of his hand. 

Much as he hates to admit it, Benny enjoys watching Castiel defend them. The angel makes monsters' eyes burst out of their skulls. He and Dean almost have no need for their weapons. It's pretty great.

But Benny is still angry. He's angry that he's lost his boyfriend, if he ever truly had Dean. He's angry there is yet another contingency to their plan. He's angry he allowed himself to like Dean any more than just a friend. 

Most of all, Benny is annoyed at this lame excuse for an angel that they are dragging around Purgatory, pretty much against his own will. Castiel doesn't make a lick of sense when he speaks, which gets on Benny's nerves. And he's a danger magnet. Dean's in love with Castiel, so that's also fun for Benny. 

Castiel has replaced Benny in one way Benny cannot bear. Now, Dean snuggles with Castiel at night instead of him. Now, Dean seeks warmth and comfort in the arms of his angel. Castiel holds Dean as he sleeps while Benny keeps watch nearby. 

They haven't asked him to do that. He just can't stand seeing them like that. In Castiel's embrace, Dean smiles in his sleep. And all of the distance Castiel tries to put between them during the day vanishes at night. Castiel lights up when Dean cuddles with him. He looks like a kid on Christmas morning when Dean dozes off on him.

It's beautiful. 

It's devastating. 

It makes Castiel's presence all the more irritating.

To top it all off, Castiel won't even be able to escape with them. It's a human portal. It won't work for him. This is all just a waste of time. But when Benny brings it up, it just starts a fight. Not with Castiel though, oddly enough he does not disagree with Benny. It's Dean that can't get the simple facts through his hard head. 

One night, they camp beside a stream. Dean has enjoyed a decent meal of fresh caught fish and cool, clean water. With a full belly, Dean has fallen asleep in Castiel's arm. Considering the circumstances, he is as content as a man can be. Castiel wears a soft smile of solace as he massages Dean's scalp. Benny is using his knife to sharpen a stick into a stake. They don't really need another weapon, but he can't just sit there and watch Dean and Castiel spoon. It will eat him alive if he does.

Out of the blue, Castiel calls out, "Vampire?"

"Benny," he hisses, not looking up from his work. "What do you want?"

"I want to thank you for protecting Dean," Castiel says.

Benny is touched by this, but he cannot show it. So he shrugs and mutters, "I didn't do it for you."

"I know you didn't, but I'm grateful all the same," Castiel responds. He pauses. "I owe you everything."

"Just don't stop us from getting the hell out of here."

"I won't. I promise you that."

Something about the way the angel says this rubs Benny wrong. It should be good news. The escape is Benny's only way to be happy again, his only way to move on from his break up with Dean (if that's even what it is). He doesn't need any interference from anyone, least of all this ragamuffin of a celestial being.

But it isn't good. It bothers Benny. For the first time, he meets the angel's eyes. There's a distance in them, a wildness. It's a result of adjusting to life in Purgatory. Dean has a similar look, especially when he discusses rescuing Castiel. But there's another tell in Castiel's tone and in his movements: sorrow. Benny wants to know what is really going on, no more p.c. b.s., and no Dean to interject. The angel will have to speak for himself now.

"What do you mean by that?" Benny presses.

"I mean I'm not going to do anything to put Dean in danger," the angel asserts.

As it starts to sink in, Benny murmurs, "You're gonna ditch him. Again."

Castiel adverts his gaze away from Benny. White hot anger flashes in the vampire's caring eyes. His venom pools in his mouth, burning his tongue and throat. His fangs slide down, but he keeps his jaw clenched shut. 

Benny makes a fist and counts very slowly. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10 He cannot lose control. If he goes after the angel, he could risk harming Dean. He just can't do that.

"It's not what you think," Castiel utters.

"It's exactly what I think!" Benny spits.

Castiel shakes his head. "I love Dean more than anything in all of creation! I could never hurt him!"

"No, abandoning him in Purgatory with only a vampire as a friend wouldn't hurt him at all."

"It's better than him being killed because of me! And you, too!" Castiel cries out. On its own, the heat of Benny's anger cools as he listens to the angel. "Dean cares so much about you. It would destroy him if anything happened to you." 

There's a pinch of sadness in his words. His love for Dean really does trump all of his other concerns. Benny can't help melting at it. Damn this angel! Much as Benny wants to, he just can't hate Castiel. He still dislikes him. That's natural. But, if he were not Dean's true mate, Benny could see himself befriending Castiel.

And what he said about Dean not being able to stand losing Benny, well, it must be true. Angels possess telepathic powers. Dean has mentioned before how Castiel gets him better than anyone else in the world as well. Castiel knows what Dean is thinking and how he feels deep down.

Relief washes over Benny's handsome face. Dean needs him. Maybe there is something real in what they have. Maybe he's been too touchy about Dean and Castiel. Maybe he can cut the angel a little slack. 

Benny shields his happiness again, returning to sharpening his stake. Although he is starting to like Castiel, the angel is still a rival. He is not quite ready to let him know he is getting under his icy skin.

"He cares about you more," Benny grumbles. "He has no problem killing me if it means saving you."

Castiel shakes his head. "Dean would die before he let anything happen to either one of us." 

Benny can't stifle a laugh. "Yeah, I don't doubt that."

Castiel stays quiet for a moment, then his face grows very serious. "Benny, can I ask you something very important?"

Intrigued, Benny inquires,"What?"

"If...if something happens to me, promise me you'll watch out for Dean."

"What was that now?" Benny cannot believe what he is hearing.

"If something happens to me, I don't think Dean could handle it on his own, especially not here. Please promise me that you'll keep him safe."

Trying to hide how moved he is by the angel's thoughtfulness, Benny mutters, "I'll protect Dean, but I ain't doing it for you."

"Thank you, Benny."

Dean wakes up soon after, and it's back to business. It's as if this conversation never took place. Benny and Cass continue to bicker. Dean continues to insist that they must bust out together.

This goes on for days and days as they hike towards the portal. In the course of one such episode, (in this particular drama, Benny has lost his composure in the face of Dean's refusal to accept the obvious), the angel begins to fidget. His ears perk up and his extra senses go into hyperdrive. His behavior makes Dean and Benny nervous. 

"Leviathans!" Castiel declares. "Run!"

But before he can heed his own advice, two beasts lunge on him and Dean. Dean is able to behead the monster with his knife. But Castiel is not so lucky. The leviathan growls, baring its hundreds of pointy white teeth in the angel's face. 

Dean's eyes widen in horror as the leviathan prepares to feast on Castiel. His chest is heaving. It's like he wants to cry, but he's in the middle of something so terrifying and he just can't shed any tears yet.

If Castiel dies, things will be a lot better for Benny. They won't have to worry about constant ambushes anymore. He won't have to listen to the strange things the angel says or watch as Dean and Castiel swoon over each other any more. He won't have to worry about dying at the border anymore. He won't have to share Dean any more.

If Castiel dies, it will destroy Dean. Benny remembers every detail of the death of his mate, Andrea. It had been agony, so much worse than the decapitation. It is helplessness and rage and grief and sorrow and frustration and despair all rolled into one hideous ball of emptiness that unravels over time and never leaves the spirit. It is a pain no one should have to endure.

Benny lifts his blade and slashes the Leviathan's throat. It flounders, then falls down dead in the dirt. Someday a Leviathan Blossom will sprout from its corpse, and maybe it will do some good someday.

Benny extends a hand and helps Castiel back to his feet. Then he steals a glimpse at Dean. Dean is panting a little from leftover nerves. But he is glowing with relief and gratitude. 

Of course, Benny did it for himself. He knows that if he hadn't at least tried to assist the angel, Dean would never trust him again. He would have lost his friend and his hopes of leaving Purgatory if that was the case. 

Ultimately, though, Benny did it for Dean. Friendship and love are two of the most beautiful and two of the most agonizing things in the world. It goes hand in hand. His friendship and relationship with Dean have had more than their fair share of beauty. Just because it is time to take some bad does not subtract from the good. Anyway, there is nothing so horrible that Dean could do to deserve to witness his best friend being murdered right in front of him. After losing Andrea as he had, Benny could never put Dean through that.

Benny has not forgotten about his conversation with Castiel and his promise to keep Dean out of harm's way. It still troubles him that the angel may bolt on them again at some point. But he has decided not to share his suspicions with Dean. There's no need in worrying him over something that may never happen. 

Benny is going to hold up his end of the oath the best way he knows how. By decimating Leviathans, of course, but his most important task is to remain a loyal friend to Dean. If the angel does fly away, Benny will ensure Dean's safe exit from Purgatory and his healing back on earth. 

Maybe Benny will watch out for Castiel along the way as well. He's off his rocker, and he's a walking monster magnet. Worst of all, Dean's heart belongs to him. But Castiel is good and selfless and funny as hell. If they didn't love the same human, Benny thinks he might even be friends with that silly angel someday.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story. 
> 
> I tried to get the actual dialogue from the show right. I know it isn't perfect but I tried to get it close.
> 
> Have a blessed Three Kings Day.


End file.
